Something I decided to add to the final edition of Book One. I hope you enjoy it. Much love, Big Dog! | Print |
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The World of Ancients Sovereign

       It was Early Bailem when Mosley arrived and began sniffing around the God of the Sun’s home on Ancients Sovereign. Bailem’s abode felt capacious as the wolf trotted around looking through the many grand openings leading to the outside world. Giant stone columns, all white as snow and 144 strong, sat perfectly placed supporting a dark stone roof with an enormous circumference.

      At the top of the structure, a dodecagon gem with a canary hue had been faultlessly set at the roof’s center. A beam of light materialized as it passed through the gem and slowly moved across the floor.  Mosley teleported onto the roof to get a better look. At just over twelve paws wide, he admired the gem’s size.  

He watched as the sun’s rays penetrated the jewel’s facets. His godly eyes were now able to see far more than they used to. The million crystallizations within the jewel were mesmerizing. Curious as to their effect, Mosley teleported back inside and watched as the beam approached one of twelve angelic statues standing atop a circular base. Each base had a gem of its own. A diameter of 48 feet separated the twelve.

      Eventually, the beam struck the gem on the base beneath one of Bailem’s fallen brothers and gave the statue momentary life. Mosley was astonished and waited for the beam to pass across the floor to hit the jewel of the next statue. It was during this series of moments that another of Bailem’s fallen brothers animated and assumed a new stance. The statue lifted both arms high, turned his hands level to the floor and spread his resplendent wings. He looked directly at the wolf and smiled, solidifying again as the beam moved beyond his jewel. The plaque on his base carried the name, Metatron. He would remain this way until his gem was lit again the following day.

     Mosley searched his godly memories. The weight of all he knew to be true was overwhelming as he studied the names on the other eleven plaques. To the right of Metatron, moving clockwise, the names read: Michael, Gabriel, Uriel, Raguel, Ramiel, Chamuel, Iophiel, Cassiel, Sandalphon, Azael, and finally Bailem, formerly known as Zerachiel.

      Mosley knew it was Metatron, also known as Lucifer, who was one of three archangels scorned enough to join with Harrah, Ra and Sekhmet to induce the God Wars. Mosley struggled to shake off the thoughts of the devastation. The death toll of The Great Destruction of Everything Known was too much to suffer. He had to use the fur on his legs to wipe the tears from his eyes.

      Once calm, the wolf took note of the careful positioning of every statue. Bailem had clearly taken great care while creating the only form of a sundial in existence. Over 3,713,875 separate animations of each statue had occurred since the creation of the God of the Sun’s glorious structure. The home rested on top of the highest mountain called Bailem’s Aubade on Ancients Sovereign.
 

Comments 

 
+2 # William Zavatchin 2010-03-21 11:50
The description is great. Nice touch with the canary hue gem reflecting on statues like a sundial would.
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+1 # Heidi Stromberg 2010-03-21 12:23
I love this description. I could really see the place in my mind as I read, and not a lot of books can do that for me. It needs a little restructuring grammar-wise, but it's got good bones!
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0 # BRANDON TANEY 2010-03-21 12:44
Wow, what a great touch of dimension this adds. Time.. as we know it no longer exists. They only have their knowledge of time, i.e... Early Bailem.
Their "time" seems to have always been based on the God of the sun.
Only the "gods' seem to see, or know time hour by hour, thus the twelve statues. It feels that the "Gods" have not given the "mortals" of the five worlds that hour by hour information. Seems to make them feel more "Godly"
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0 # Karen Turpin 2010-03-21 12:45
Wow! Great description. You have a way with words that really draws the reader in. Like Heidi, I could picture the place in my mind.
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-1 # Sabrina Gardner 2010-03-21 14:17
I could see it in my mind pretty clearly and I really like that cause most books don't do that for me, same as Heidi. I really like the idea of the statues, never would have thought of something like that. Great work with words! C:
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-1 # Laura Lopez 2010-03-21 18:35
Absolutely beautiful way of describing the sceene. I could see it all as though I was standing next to Mosley or better yet seeing it through his eyes. Great work, as always!!!!
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-2 # Cheryl Christensen 2010-03-22 06:32
Very nice. I love the presence of the scene. Majesty would be an understatement for the description. I love that Lucifer would smile at Mosley, and receiving the bit of knowledge that he, of course, would be an instigator of the Great Destruction.
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-4 # angella joy 2010-03-22 12:59
I agree with everyone, and I like the way biblical names are being used... it gives them some interesting character that most people can relate to. As long as you paint the picture that we can see with you, then you don't have to be too critical of your own work... like all artists are...lol
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+8 # Mike 2010-04-04 01:29
Okay, hold the phone. Youre adding this to the FINAL addition? What a silly idea. Havent you printed about like 2 or 3 additions in hard back already? If you really want people to help you with your book, dont charge them 30 bucks a pop for a story you know is unfinished, sir. Go take a look at Brandon Sandersons web page, brandonsanderso n.com. He put a whole FINISHED novel on his sight called Warbreaker to let people get a taste for his work. This guy is like THE top guy in fantasy right now. It was a FINISHED soty and he didnt even charge anyone for it. So the least you can do is if you know your story is not a finished product, don't make anyone pay for it until it is. This just feels like a horrible way to treat your fans, and you really need to re think this whole thing.
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-7 # Laura Lopez 2010-04-04 10:19
Mike I am sorry that you feel this way, and I do believe that you are entitled to your opinion. However, from the very beginig Phillip has let the public (and his fans) know that these are unfinished. As such it is up to the individual to decide as to whether or not to buy one or continue to buy them there after. The fun part of each of the editions that Phillip has put out is that each one is a little different, and so it makes it a new experience every time. If you don't like it don't buy it! As for Brandon Sanderson, that is great for him. That is the road he has choosen, that however does not mean you need to demean someone else's method. After all we are each individuals who make different decesions. If you like Mr. Sanderson's work that is great no one would fault you for that. If you don't like Phillip's work or the way he is doing it, well that is also your decision and opinion. Don't fault someone on their method because they choose to do it differently than someone else.
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-10 # Karen Turpin 2010-04-04 11:20
Mike, a horrible way to treat his fans? Really? Phillip has been honest with his fans from the start. His fans know the books are unfinished and yet they choose to buy them anyway. Do you know of any other author who cares so much about his fans and their opinions that he is willing to hand out his phone number and e-mail address to each and every one of them? He is inviting us to share this journey with him. To me, that doesn't sound like a horrible way for an author to treat his fans. I, for one, do not think it is a "silly" idea.
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+9 # Mike 2010-04-04 18:32
Then you guys just keep on buying the same story over and over at 30 bucks a pop. Im just saying, a very small amount of people are raving over rough drafts that they had to PAY TO READ. Its CRAZY! The example with Brandon Sanderson was me pointing out part of how one of THE BEST in the genre got to where he is. I think that if this Jones guy doesnt change tack he isnt going to be in this buisiness very long. Im not being negative, Im being realistic, most people arent going to want to pay 30 bucks to read a rough draft. And as far as everyone saying that it Phillip has been very open about it being a rough draft, he sold the books to my mother at Costco. He told her that it was the final draft of book one. Now, this gusy says that he is putting out another version of book one? Can someone explain just what I am supposed to think of that. Cause i will tell what I do think, it is a bad way to treat readers, and they arent going to stick around very long if he keeps that stuff up.
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-10 # Sabrina 2010-04-04 21:44
Actually you are being quite negative. And it is a matter of opinion on who is the best in what genre. It varies from person to person, there is no definite. There are those of us who truly do care about this book and if you don't like how Phillip does things then don't even read it or comment on these things. I for one think it's a new and fresh idea and he's been quite honest with all of us readers. We get to be involved with the whole process. Yes you may think you're just being realistic but you're just being negative and honestly quite rude.
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+8 # Mike 2010-04-04 22:53
I am being negative, Im not being rude. There is a difference. Phillip Jones is probably a nice enough guy. It does not change the fact that I hate how he is producing these books, and I hate the fact that he charges people money to read a rough draft. You people do him a service by giving him ideas etc, and he charges you? I think it is a little bit nuts. That is not the same thing is saying I hope his career implodes and he goes bankrupt yadda yadda yadda. THAT would be me being rude, and I am not saying any of those things
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+8 # Mike 2010-04-04 22:59
And let me get this straight Sabrina, since I dont agree with how this guy writes his books, I am not allowed to comment? That is absurd. I have a feeling that his fans take criticism harder than he does. Hes a big boy, as his nick name implies, he can handle it. He writes, he puts his story out there, therefore it is fair game for positive as well as negative critiscism. And notice, I did not say the Brandon Sanderson is THE best, I said he is one of the best. I am being realistic here, not rude, but Big Dog isnt even in the same league. Brandon gets paid a lot of money to do what he does, he is a New YorK Times Best seller. Big Dog still has a long way to go, which is ok.
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+8 # kevin Hoagland 2010-04-05 08:38
I think that part of the point that Mike is trying to make here is that he thinks that it is a bit off to pay Phillip "Big Dog" money to have input on how the book's are written. It is like giving Nike money to advertise for them, which is what you do when you buy one of there t-shirts and become a waking billboard for them. I know from my working with Big Dog, you don't have to buy the books to have input, and that a lot of what he is doing with the events and other things comes from the proceeds from the book sales. Big Dog has told us on Facebook every one is welcome to there opinion and we are all welcome to debate them, but he has asked us not to argue with, or insult one another.
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+1 # Sekka 2010-08-10 01:10
Metatron isn't Lucifer. . .
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